Food for Thought

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FDM at Battle of the Pledges 2012

Rewatching this set and reliving the experience bring me back to so many different places. Back to when FDM first was born, in a dark place in my dance career. Back to the rehearsals and days and nights of stress putting this together. Back to the days in mourning when I woke up and refocused my goal.

I had a lot of things I wanted to do with FDM, a lot of things to prove. I wanted to do this, I wanted to do that. I wanted to show one side, and then show another. I wanted to prove my haters wrong, to show that I was not a failure. FDM was retribution for a time long lost, a validation of the value and hard work of my dance career. But in the end, I woke up with a new goal. I was over the petty drama. I only had one thing in mind—-to make my Dad proud and to pay tribute to him in one small way.

For those that don’t know, my father had Parkinson’s Disease, diagnosed over 15 years ago. I watched as the disease took away his legs, his arms, and eventually his speech. He lost all movement, and for the last years of his life I couldn’t even have a conversation with him. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak, but he continued to fight and love me and my brothers in silence. This was my chance to reply.

This set has meant the world to me. It has taught me how to continue to find passion in something I thought had lost, to rediscover the basics, the fundamentals of my love for dance. It brought together some of my best friends at UCLA and USC together and pushed each of us to fight. But ultimately, it gave me the chance to say goodbye to the greatest man I ever knew. 

That performance was something I will always cherish. Thank you to each of the dancers who was a part of this journey. You inspire me to no end with your passion and dedication, and your patience with me and my vision. I am so happy to call you friends and can only hope you were able to gain something from FDM as I was able to gain from you. Thank you for giving me a chance to say goodbye. You will always hold a special place in my heart, and I will remember this for the rest of my life.

Dad, I hope I made you proud. I hope this was a small step in me apologizing to you, for the times I didn’t come, for the times I stayed silent, for the times I didn’t show you that I was proud to be your son. I will work the rest of my life to push myself to make you proud of me, to earn the love that you gave me.

Love,

Kevin

expression through art, the video says it all, but the words take it home

we don’t always understand why things happen the way they do, but i know that i’ve been blessed to have come across such an incredible humble individual. such a strong individual, one who has inspired us all. You make me so proud to call you my friend.

things really do happen for a reason, and as difficult as this is all been, i hope you always know that we’ve got your back,

because you’ve always had ours since the beginning. 

<3

ps. i know He is proud of you, and always has been