in the eye of the storm
as this day closes in on the start of another, i begin to reflect on this past week, this past year. this tumultuous roller coaster of emotions
sometimes i wish i was starting anew again, with that spark, that feeling of ignited motivation. that craving that never seems to goes away.
i get scared i won’t want this tomorrow, next month, next year. i’ve never been one to do things half-assed or uncommitted. it’s always been an all or nothing type of deal, yet it feels like i’ve reached a breaking point
and something’s gotta give.
when something you love becomes tarnished, tinged at the edges, it’s hard to look at things the same way. is it better to break up with what you love before that love is gone? I fear letting it get to that point. perhaps i’m already in it
i have all these fears, that churn within me, wondering if what i’m doing is what i should be doing. whether i’m supposed to be here or somewhere else
today was rough, but it was beautiful. it’s been a long road to this moment, to today, where i felt a sense of renewal on stage,
felt like a messy chapter finally got some closure, like some stitches that could finally be removed. though still a tender red.
tbc
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